If you are a parent, you know the feeling. The phone rings in the middle of the work day, and you see the school’s number on the caller ID. Your stomach drops.
“Is it happening again?” you think.
Maybe it’s a report that your son wouldn’t stay in his seat. Maybe your daughter had an emotional meltdown over a math worksheet. Or perhaps the teacher is using words like “defiant,” “unmotivated,” or “distracted.”
For many families in Connecticut, this is the daily reality. You’ve tried sticker charts, stricter bedtimes, and removing screen time. But nothing seems to stick.
At New Insights Behavioral Health, we often meet parents who feel like they are failing. We are here to tell you: You aren’t failing. You might just be missing the root cause.
While many people think of ADHD as simply “hyperactivity,” the reality is far more complex. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects executive function—the brain’s management system. Here are 5 subtle signs that your child’s “behavioral issues” might actually be undiagnosed ADHD.
1. The “Inconsistency” Trap
One day, your child can build a complex Lego set for three hours without blinking. The next day, they can’t focus on a three-sentence paragraph for homework.
This inconsistency is confusing for parents and teachers. It often leads to the accusation: “You can do it when you want to!”
However, ADHD isn’t a deficit of attention; it’s a problem with regulating attention. Their brain chemistry allows them to hyperfocus on high-dopamine activities (like gaming or Legos) but physically prevents them from engaging in low-dopamine tasks (like chores or math). This isn’t defiance; it’s biology.
2. Emotional Volatility (The “0 to 100” Effect)
Does your child go from calm to screaming in seconds? Do minor disappointments—like a broken cracker or a change in plans—result in catastrophic meltdowns?
Emotional dysregulation is a core component of ADHD, though it is rarely listed in the basic diagnostic criteria. Children with ADHD feel emotions more intensely and have fewer “brakes” to stop an emotional reaction once it starts. If your child is frequently labeled as “dramatic” or “sensitive,” it may be an issue of neurological regulation, not personality.
3. The “After-School Collapse”
Many parents tell us, “My child is an angel at school, but a monster at home.”
This is common in children with undiagnosed ADHD, particularly girls. They spend an immense amount of cognitive energy “masking” their symptoms at school—forcing themselves to sit still and stay quiet to fit in. By the time they get home to their safe space, their mental battery is depleted. The result? Explosive behavior, tears, and exhaustion.
4. Trouble with Transitions
Moving from one activity to another requires a cognitive shift that is physically painful for an ADHD brain.
If asking your child to put down the iPad and come to dinner turns into a 20-minute battle every night, take note. It’s not just about wanting to play the game; it’s about the brain’s inability to “shift gears” smoothly. This “transition friction” is a classic hallmark of executive dysfunction.
5. Social Struggles and “Bossiness”
We often associate ADHD with academic struggles, but the social impact can be just as heavy.
You might notice your child interrupting friends, struggling to follow the rules of a game, or being described as “bossy.” They may miss social cues or invade personal space. These aren’t malicious behaviors; they are impulsive actions. Treating the ADHD often gives a child the pause they need to read the room and maintain friendships.
Is It Time for an Evaluation?
If these signs sound familiar, waiting and hoping it “gets better” is rarely the best strategy. Early intervention is key to preserving your child’s self-esteem.
In Connecticut, waitlists for developmental pediatricians can often be 6 to 12 months long. We believe that is too long to wait.
At New Insights Behavioral Health, we offer comprehensive psychiatric evaluations via telehealth, often with appointments available within 10 days. We look at the whole child to determine if medication management or other supports are the right path forward.
Ready to get started? Don’t struggle through another school year alone. Fill out our intake form today to schedule your child’s evaluation.